Ode to the fat hairy man with very few teeth who found me attractive today....

Oh what a glorious day in Oregon!  The weather was immaculate and so I decided to get in some calisthenics by jogging around my neighborhood.   I headed out at 3:49 or so and ran for about 45 minutes!  That's pretty good considering I used to run religiously several times a week and now I only go about 1 or 2 times a week if something possesses me, like sunshine for instance.  Anyhow, when I was only 10 minutes or so away from home, I was jogging down what to some may have seemed like a rather ordinary stretch of road.  However, when I spotted my admirer down on the corner, I realized promptly that this was nothing routine.  To him, I was the most special part of that moment!  He was quite the looker with his shirt off, glimmering in the sunshine with tufts of grey hair all about his body.  There was a thin layer of grass and sweat coating his entire torso and spilling over onto his tattered trousers.  As I drew closer, he began to smile a great big smile right at me.  "Who needs incisors"?  I thought, as I noticed his smile was missing a few piano keys.  I smiled back, which to him was definitely a signal that I was mesmerized by his delightful manner and dashing good looks.  The hair on top of his head had all fallen out at some point along the way, but that didn't stop him from clenching his more youthful days with a longer style in the back.   He shut off his outdoor appliance so that he could court me as I ran past him.  He seemed to be thinking quite hard about what to say in our fateful moment of togetherness as I neared his sidewalk square.  Then, just at the perfect moment, he yelled out "Run faster little lady"!  He then followed it with a bellow of "You look even better on the backside" as I crossed the street and hopped up onto the next corner.  Wow!  What a nice gentleman!  I am so glad he felt that I was "all that" as some would say!  So to the little, old, fat, hairy man with very few teeth who found me attractive, Thank You!  And might I add, you too look better from the backside, because to me it might indicate that you are going back into your house.  I actually think that would be best for both of us since I am not, in fact, interested and you are not, in fact, going to persuade me, but I'm flattered nonetheless! Have a nice day!